Woman, Know Thy Self!

Our kids came for a family gathering this past weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It had been some time since most of them had been in our home and we were discussing some of the changes we have made in our never-ending remodel/redecorating quest. One of the daughters-in-love commented that she didn't have the 'decorator gene' and wouldn't know where to start. I told her she just needed to know herself, everything she needed to know was inside her. Asking a couple of probing questions, we discovered she liked the decor from the 60's & 70's. Ah ha! Now we know she likes Retro! That's a great first step. Her face literally lit up when she said that. Sitting across the room, my son, her husband, looked  skeptical. I informed my beloved son that the sooner he acknowledges the inside of the home is his wife's domain, the happier all would be. My Honey knows this and has come to trust my taste and judgment. My son would be well served to support and nurture this in his wife.

My Honey brought up that I liked to watch decorating shows and read design magazines. This is true, a wealth of technical information and inspiration can be gleaned from both, but the bottom line is in knowing what it is that brings out the inner you. Our homes need to reflect our personalities, our tastes and be a safe haven we can retreat within for comfort and peace. I learned I cannot be 'settled' in a room that does not feel right to me. In spite of my eclectic, Bohemian-esque style and love affair with intense color, when broken down, my decor is steeped in traditional style. That's not the first impression you get when you look around the room but traditional elements are everywhere when you dissect the room. I have never been one to follow fads and current trends. In fact, I avoid them on purpose, always have. I think a guest in our home should be able to see more of who I am, not what someone in a magazine or TV show tells us we need to have to be "in style" this season. I do not want my rooms filled with things that everyone up and down the block can run to the local big box store to make their rooms look just like mine, either. We are individuals, our homes should be, too.

This does not mean we cannot appreciate a style or design choices others make. I love mid-century design and decor, though it is not a part of my home. Over the years light wood tones have come and gone, I admire them in other people's homes, I've considered incorporating them in mine...I never do. I am emotionally drawn to warm wood tones, red oak, mahogany, etc. Bottom-line, I go with those, they touch a place in my soul that says "home". I'm not into matchy-matchy furniture either. If you love something, really love a piece, it will fit in some where if your home is reflecting you.

Our entire kitchen remodel was inspired by an antique oak breakfront I bought shortly after we were married. The piece sits in our family room, which is open to the kitchen, with a flat screen TV on it. Not, perhaps, how one might first think to use that antique, but it is the inspiration for the whole area. My kitchen has many brushed nickel elements juxtaposition against the red oak cabinets. There is a cool toned blue-gray along with the warm red-orange of the cabinets, antique piece and the wall color below the chair rail and on the accent wall. Our floors are a terracotta color, and it might surprise you to know it is considered the neutral in the room. Sound odd to you? Perhaps, but thinking about it, analyzing the room, we find blue and orange are opposites on the color wheel. They are complementary colors, and will always look good together. The various (analogous colors, side by side, on the color wheel) shades of red-orange found in the aged oak blend the warm colors of the lower walls, accent wall and floor. It is the balance of the cool and warm in the room that keep either from being overbearing. Balance plays a large part whether or not a room feels right. Balance is vital in my traditional look, though my color choices are not traditional at first glance. This may sound complicated but it is not. A look at a color wheel can help make daunting choices simple. Knowing the colors that 'feel' right to you is the first step.

When my sons were infants, I loved Oriental decor, not the stereotypical red and black combo of Chinese restaurants, but the blue and whites. Today, 30 years later, our master bedroom has an Oriental bent. The blue and whites have been replaced with shades of sage green, gold, silver, and accented with small touches of red. It feels elegant, even though the room is not complete. Why is it the bedroom is the last to be decorated? Or is it just me? The point I am trying to make is that the things you love, when they are a part of you, do not go in & out of style. My words to my daughter-in-love about knowing who you are inside are the best decorating tips anyone can give you. How can your home not feel like a retreat from chaos when it reflects you? Your inner sanctuary determines your outer sanctuary when you are true to yourself. Woman, know thy self! Welcome home.