Who's There?

Is it just me or do you ever wonder if you really have a split personality, too? I'm not quite sure how many of 'me' there are but I know the main players well. This questioning mode came to me very early this morning when my attention was as diverted by the fluttering of the white paper prescription slip for blood work I was to have drawn in June. Oops!

I knew when the nurse handed me the slip of paper I was going to have to put it someplace 'safe' yet visible. Ah, ha...thinks I, my desk is at my finger tips every day...perfect place. Not so much....

There is just something about paper that brings out The Procrastinator in me. She's not hard to find in the first place, but paper paralyzes her into inaction. In my quest to 'get to busy', I put off dealing with paper stuff. I have work to do, I can't be bothered with paper! I'm a writer; see the glaring error and double-mindedness in my thinking?

So, The Procrastinator puts this small (another problem right off the bat) slip of import on the desk. I see it alright! I see it every time the ceiling fans blows it around till it dances its way off the desk, onto the floor and swirls to the tune of the squeaky fan. I’d be ashamed to say this was a daily event but I know I have to be transparent in my life and writing…so, yeah, it happens every day. No joke…every stinking day. It happened every day till The School Marm’ showed up and stuck a tack in it on the bottom rim of the cabinets over my desk. Not a place I really want things stuck to but she seemed determined so I stayed out of her way. She was mumbling something about “…insanity to let this happen every day…” Yeah, I stayed out of her way.

The question is, why do I keep it up there? It’s outdated, seems to have something suspicious stuck to the front of it (but I’m not getting close enough to find out what it is) and it distracts The ADD Child that lives within! It flaps around in my peripheral vision and she finds herself looking up at it instead of doing her work…watch out, The School Marm’ lurks behind the corner and you never know when she’ll show up.

I just hung my head because it struck me the reason I keep it there is to remind me to call and schedule the Dr’s appointment I’m supposed to have in September…or at least call and ask if I already have one scheduled. *SIGH* The Procrastinator is alive and well.

See why I asked that question at the top of this post? I prefer to think I am multifaceted with character and depth...LOL...wonder which one of me came up with that? Probably The Visionary, sounds like something she’d say.

Foo-foo for You

I just looked at the clock and it was 5:15am. I've already been awake more than two hours, grudgingly awake, but awake nonetheless. I was wakened at 2:45 with cramps in my feet and ankles. I hate that! I got up and walked around until they were no longer deformed looking and then tried to go back to sleep. It was too late, I was awake and my day was starting, like it or not! I made myself lie in bed until another cramp at 3:15. Bummer, up and walking again. That ended any hope of dozing.


The bright side, if you can have a bright side at 3:15 in the morning, is that I got an early jump on Truth in the Morning blog! Even that early you can find something for which to be thankful. I had finished writing and sending it out before I heard my Honey rustling around at the other end of the house.


After he left, I resumed my morning routine, and since the blog was out, got dressed to shoes, hair & face. Why do my hair and face at 5:15, you may ask, when I work from my home office and only see the hounds all day? This brings me to the point of this post.

At one time I worked in an office of a commercial construction company. That's important only to make the point that I worked with a lot of men from department heads, to salesmen, to the guys actually installing the systems, I was surrounded. I heard many 'stories' about family life, hunting, etc. The saddest of all was the way some of these men talked about their wives. Work took many of these guys into business offices where the women they saw were dressed, faces made-up and hair coiffed. At the end of the day, they went home to find their wife far more casual, sometimes in the same clothes from the day before, with hair in ponytail or pinned up in bun, no make-up and a day full of stress-filled kid stories, fielding calls from bill collectors, etc. Not glamorous for sure. While it is day to day married life and whether or not they said anything to their beloved or not, these men noticed. I know, because I heard the same story from different men many times over many years. They noticed. It isn't fair to compare what they were seeing in offices with what they found at home, but they noticed and commented to me.

Having been a stay at home when my kids were young, I defended the wives and suggested they stay at home with the kids a few weeks and see how handsome they felt and looked. No one ever took the challenge. Imagine that.

We all know we feel better about ourselves when we know we look good. Let's face it, it's true. I have blonde eyebrows and lashes, if I don't put make-up on them I look like the walking dead. My light yellow skin needs a little rosy blush and my pale thinning lips need all the help they can get. My hair is the sort that either looks very good or very bad. I don't really have middle ground. Mornings, I typically apply (at the very least) brow pencil, mascara, a light swipe of blush, perfume and earrings. Lipstick doesn't make sense in the garden, so I wait for my afternoon foo-foo for that if I'm going to be home alone. I do this for me! I feel better when I know I look better.

I do my afternoon foo-foo before my Honey gets home. Freshen up what I've got on and retouch the hair, a little more perfume and now the lipstick. Full blown make-up isn't required (my requirements, not his), unless we are headed out somewhere. I do this for me! I feel better when I know I look better.

Nothing says 'frumpy' like finding yourself in public looking like you slept in your cloths and lost your brush all on the same day! A few years ago, I was so very thankful for my 'foo-foo for me' routine. My husband had another heart attack, you can't plan for those you know, and I spent the next three days at the hospital in the same clothes with nothing to freshen up. Had I not started out looking okay, it could have been rough for one and all. Before you go thinking it shouldn't matter what I looked like when my husband had a heart attack and I am a very vain and petty woman, let me say this...even in a hospital bed in ICU, men are still visual creatures. When he was scared and uncertain about what might happen, I wanted...no, needed...to be as confident and reassuring as I possibly could. I needed to be the 'strong one' for both of us during the crisis time. You cannot project what you do not feel and I never feel confident, strong or encouraging when I feel frumpy. Do you? Yes, I was thankful I had taken the time to foo-foo that morning because my man needed me.

Ninety-eight percent of the time my husband never comments on the way I look one way or the other. I want to look good for him even if he insists he doesn't care. I know better, remember the men from my old job? I remember well. It's not about vanity or fashion. Lord knows I am NOT a fashionista! It's about feeling like the best me I can be. When I stay in my jammies during my 'work day' of writing, I am less productive. If I dress in real clothes, do my hair and mini-makeup, and put on my shoes, I feel like I am ready to work. I deserve as much effort now as I put into it when I worked in an office. We fall victim to the 'it's just me' mentality and get lazy. There is nothing 'less deserving' about 'just you or just me'. I notice when my husband puts on cologne to go places, it's one of my favorite men's cologne. But he doesn't put it on just for me very often at all. Oh, yes, I notice when the extra effort is made for me.

I know we all need our down time to step away from the pressure and dictates of our day to day worlds. My Honey & I have 'Jammie Day' once in a while on the weekends where we stay in our jammies all day and watch movies, one after another. That's a good thing. Even in my jammies I do the mini-makeup so I don't look dead and my eyes do not disappear off my face. If I'm going to hang around lounging with my man, I want him to be glad he's with me, not wishing I'd go shower or something. I foo-foo for me, so I feel the best I can. If my man benefits from it, all the better but it has to start with me wanting to be the best I can be. So, the moral of the story is Foo-foo for YOU!

Happy Harvest Dance

Oh, happy day! Oh, happy day!!! Picture me doing the 'Thank you, Jesus Happy Dance', first outside around my garden, then through my kitchen and down the hall to my office to write this post. It may seem a trifle thing to you but I brought in my first bean harvest this morning and that excites me, no end!

A garden, no matter how large or small, is vital in our aspirations of living a simple life. Anyone can grow something in a pot - even from an apartment. If you're not growing something, you will have a bumper crop harvest of excuses. Salt with that?

There are a few things I do not like about my personality but I enjoy the fact that I get so excited about the simple things in life. You can pack more thrills into your day that way..hehehe. I was busily picking the morning greens harvest when my eye caught sight of a bean. "What's this?" says I. I placed my greens in the wheelbarrow and went back to investigate. Sure enough, my bean plants are now covered in tiny baby bean pods but there were a few large enough to pick. Not anywhere near enough for a meal, by any means, but enough to make my day!

I inspect the garden carefully every day but have not paid much attention to the beans because they do not produce as quickly as the squash and greens, etc. I've planted 4 types of beans to-date this year. White beans first, then black beans and lentils and lastly, pintos. I staggered the planting times so they are not all ready at the same time. This is my first year for black beans and lentils, so I'm learning their ways as I go. The white beans are the source of my delight and happy dance this morning. If you've had experience with lentils, please let me know what to expect. I try to plant something new every year.

On another note, growing squash is not for the faint of heart. I do intensive planting which means spacing things much closer than recommended to better utilize my water and help keep the weeds down by the the close leaf coverage. It works well with squash. Both the yellow straight neck and white scalloped squash are doing very well. When the plants are covered with ripe fruit to harvest and many brightly colored blossoms, bees are everywhere. I like the bees, they provide a better harvest and they tickle my husband when he slows down to watch them. Harvesting the squash is where having a strong faith comes in handy. Once I spot one ready to pick, I have to stick my arm deep into the dense plants to get it. This requires blindly maneuvering between bees doing their own harvesting of pollen. I have not been stung yet and plan to keep it that way. If you're allergic and/or get scared by bees, growing squash is not for you.

The greens are playing out and next week should be time to harvest any turnips I might get. I planted the bulk of my seed close together for more of a greens harvest but did space some out between the rows of white beans in hopes of some turnips. The last of the radishes have all been pulled. I had under-planted them with the pintos, so as the bean plants started over-shadowing them, I just harvested the last of them. The Swiss Chard keeps plugging along but it does far better in the late fall and winter.

Oh, and this morning I was bitten by the first mosquito I've seen this season. It was vicious! It did not, however, deter any joy from the bounty of the harvest. Thanks, Lord!! No wonder we have Thanksgiving Day! I bet the pilgrims were easily thrilled gardeners, too!

Journal Entry

Japanese Tea Garden Journal

April 7, 2011

Tho I am far, far away from anything that actually looks like a Japanese Tea Garden yet, I have found great satisfaction in my daily efforts toward that end. I mentioned that this has been a nine year long dream of mine. What I didn’t address was the impetus for finally starting. I think it important to know why we do what we do when we do it. It’s an integral part of living your life actually aware and plugged in to your own ‘present’ moment.

I was having a discussion with a dear friend that asked what I participated in to reduce stress, something I did ‘just for me’. It struck me that if a friend this close to me had to ask that question, whatever it was must not be evident in my day-to-day world. This friend KNOWS me, knows me well. If she didn’t know, no one would. This sent up all kinds of red flags for me. Then she asked me what I would do for myself if I could.

I ‘do’ all kinds of things. I ‘enjoy’ a lot of different activities. I am blessed to love my vocation of choice. I think part of my key to enjoying life is that I look for things to appreciate in the mundane chores required, as an example – how I enjoy hanging out the laundry on the line or the sense of immediate gratification I get from ironing. I choose not to see it as something I have to do but rather something I enjoy doing. But what do I “do” just for my personal pleasure, something to nourish my soul, if you will?

At first glance, I didn’t see anything. Apparently, my friend didn’t either. Then I thought about my daily tea ritual at 2 in the afternoon. I “do” that for me. Thoughts of my tea ritual led me to my dream for the Japanese tea garden and the serenity I feel when I simply contemplate sitting in the midst of this garden, away from the world and her stresses. That’s what I would do if I could, I would create my garden rather than just dreaming the years away. I would “do” that just for me if I could.

No, I can’t run out and buy the materials to put the fences up and building the actual Tea House may be light years away (even if it is small) in a realistic world but I can DO something. I can start! I can rake and prune trees and plot my vision in color on the computer…all of which I have done already. I walk the “fence lines” looking at the area from every angle to make sure my vision encompasses all the standard elements for a traditional Japanese garden. I ‘feel’ the emotion and peace I anticipate when I finally get to stroll the winding paths admiring the plantings and structure of the garden as I discover each new view all over again every day. I can do that. 

For years I have poured over pictures of Japanese gardens in anticipation of actually having one of my own. I will continue to peruse the pictures because it puts a ‘face’ on my vision, if that makes sense. But I am determined to longer just dream. Each day I am one day closer to my vision coming to life and I will “DO” something as often as I can toward that end.

            I hope you will “DO” something just for you, too!

Japanese Tea Garden Journal Intro

Japanese Tea Garden Journal

April 4, 2011

Today is the first day of actual hands-on work on the Tea Garden. Nine years of planning and dreaming and visualizing have moved on to the next phase…doing! I raked the whole area and staked off the fence lines. It was a labor of love and I proudly wear my new blisters as a badge of progress!

It will be completed, of course, on a pay as you go basis…no debt will be incurred to finish the project. So, progress in ‘leaps and bounds’ may be a bit optimistic but as a confirmation of commitment and an affirmation of intent, I will rake the area when I can do nothing else. Japanese gardens are quite well maintained, you know, albeit a low maintenance proposition.

I measured off the space; it is approximately 25’ X 50’. This is the distance from the side of the house to the property line between us and the Peterson neighbors and from the front edge of the house 50’ back toward the existing shed. The Tea House I see in my visions will sit between two of the Yupon trees that live in the garden area now.

I plan to situate the Tea House to face East. I love the morning sun and this will place the Tea House entrance as the first thing you see when you walk through the Asian style gate in the fence. I want the Tea House to measure 8’X8’. This is large enough for a table for the heating element for boiling tea water and a low table to sit around for the actual tea preparation and serving. I’ll be brushing up on the formal tea ceremony in the meantime. I hope to one day have the Tea House screened in so we can sleep out there when the weather allows. Ya gotta love living in the country!

In my vision, there is a water feature. I am still pondering the type and location but to be in keeping with Japanese gardens, I want the water feature to be seen from a sitting position in the Tea House, as you enter the gate, from the proposed sitting area and from inside the bedroom window that overlooks the garden area.

I hope to use bamboo/reed fencing around the shed (back) side and property line side of the garden. I want a wooden privacy fence on the side facing the back yard/doggy run and the side toward the front yard/street. The gate I envision will be Asian in design and there will be a rock walkway from the back of the house to the gate. One the end of the garden toward the front yard, I want another smaller gate of the same design to give access to the steps we will be cutting into the slope and to give just a hint of the secret garden from the street view up the hill.

So, this is me, excited about our journey to the Japanese Tea Garden. I will journal the adventure and share the project as I go. Hope you'll have tea with me one day...that's the vision!

Day 166! Time Flies

WOW, this is day 166 since we we launched Simple Life on Hacienda Hill and our resolve to live a more relaxed life, less cluttered with consumerism and moving toward a 'greener' lifestyle. We have made many changes and have many more to go. There are still old thinking and habits we need to eliminate and/or replace with greener, more efficient ways of doing things.

I am still in love with hanging the clothes on the line rather than using the electric dryer. Only one day, so far, have I not enjoyed the ritual. It was freezing, literally, and I had a load of my Honey's work clothes that needed to be hung out. Cold air dries clothes, too. It also makes your hands turn into red stumps of agony. We don't have many bitter cold days in this part of the world, so I do not perceive that to be an ongoing issue. We did have a recent stretch of foggy, misty days that threw a kink in my laundry schedule but we lived to tell about it without any major life altering issues. I just considered how the families of days gone by would have dealt with the same issue, and persevered in my determination to stick to my guns and commitment. I can honestly say it has only required planning ahead and more careful attention to the weather forecasts. All in all, it was a positive change to my routines and our lower energy bill. I have no plans plans to abandon this life change.

I have a few areas of less than productive results. My raised garden bed has all but been forgotten. It has gone to pot...no, not the brain cell killing, cash crop of pot (LOL) but as in neglected and weed infested. It will be but a few blinks of an eye before it is time to get the spring garden planted. I am not prepared! Nor is my sad, pitiful garden bed.

There is still a ton of 'stuff' of which to rid our lives and home. I'm sad to admit that a cabinet I previously cleared out and de-junked is full again! That's NOT the way to go about things. On a positive note, we've done some reassigning of space allocation. My Honey's studio has become my new office and is smack in the middle of redecorating, as in painting & wallpaper. Working on the book has occupied the bulk of my time and attention, as did the mission trip to Costa Rica. There are only so many hours in a day and I need to re-assess the way I am using them. We all have the same 24 hours a day, many people utilize them efficiently, many more don't. Some days I do, some days I don't. I need to find a consistent rhyme and rhythm that works every day for me. I'm not THERE yet.

I am currently trying to find a good balance and division of time to better meet all the needs I have IF I am to get the book ready for submission, my office cleared out of everything but the necessities of my writing profession and make it esthetically pleasing to my sensibilities and juggle the demands of life in general: meals to prepare, bills to pay, laundry to be done, dust bunnies to chase, clutter to clear, etc. It's difficult to remember that living a simple life is about ridding ourselves of excess so we can manage that which requires managing to maintain a peaceful, less stressful life when you're tripping over paint cans, boxes to sort through and stacks of papers you'd rather just chunk in the trash. There is practical work that must be accomplished if we are to attain that peaceful place. This is where I struggle...finding that balance. 

All in all, I'd say Day 166 finds us in fairly good place toward our goal. I am thankful for the positive changes made and am eagerly awaiting the changes to come. Twitching my nose won't get us there, so I must push on.

Let me know about the progress you've made, areas of struggle and ideas to share. I could use some good tips!

Layers of Life

I'm happy to say I am writing this from my new office! No longer am I situated a few steps from the fridge..a very good thing! I can resist anything but temptation! Also, I am farther away from the scuffles of the hounds, the road noises, the phone, the washing machine...etc. I am revamping what has been (in chronological order from the time we bought the house)...the office, a little girl's garden decor bedroom, a teen boys beach shack bedroom, my Honey's studio and now...TA DA...my office!

As I take down shelves I can see layers of paint of decors past...ah, a moment to reflect...ok, I'm over it! I've uncovered the original color the room was when we moved in and the lovely fantasy garden treatment I painted. Painting over the beach shack wood plank (looking ) walls was a tad bit sad and the sign I painted (Studio B) for my Honey's studio is still in here, I'm taking it to him when I leave the room. All bits and pieces of life we have lived and family traveling through our home over the years. A bittersweet transition, indeed.


Now, I am claiming this room as my own since my Honey graciously sacrificed his studio for me to have a better place to write. Life is a lot like the layers of paint I've uncovered. It's colorful, diverse, and changes over the course of time. What works for you at one point in time might not be so satisfying or suitable at another. Life is just that LIFE, it should not be stagnant. You've seen the creepy crawlies and gunk that grows in stagnant water...that has no place in our lives! We want, need and should pursue all that is vital, healthy and life-giving. This often requires changes to be made in our environments, our relationships, our habits and ways of thinking.


I have a friend that hates change...a lot. Here's one example. Her home looks very much like it did six years ago. Everything sits in the same place, moved only for dusting. The decor has not changed at all except for a wall color change in one room and that only happened by accident. They were planning on refreshing the paint and bought the wrong shade. The new shade was not so very different but it was certainly a change. This threw my friend into a tizzy. It was inconvenient to take the paint back, so they used it anyway. To this day she isn't happy with it. Two more gallons of paint could have taken it back to the shade she had in the first place, but the effort required was not something they were willing to do, so she lives all these years later with a color that doesn't make her happy. Why? I do not understand that logic. Even when I lived in apartments, I painted them and then painted them back when I moved out. Life is in living color...it's too short and precious to spend being unhappy over something as easily fixed as a wall color! Not all things in life can be corrected that easily.

There is nothing that says, "Simple Life" about being unhappy with that around us. Now, do not misunderstand my position, I'm not saying we should all run out and redecorate our homes in the name of Simple Life. I'm saying the things around us that make life less simple, like the clutter and stuff we hold on to just because we've always held on to it, those things can change to free us from the emotional and mental stagnation around us.

With the guidelines of keeping only that which makes you smile, you love or use regularly, we can eliminate a lot of stuff! No one LOVES everything they have in their home. No one uses everything they have in cabinets, closets and boxes in the attic either. Other than seasonal clothing and holiday decor, why are we storing stuff anyway? If we have to store it, we obviously aren't using it. To add insult to injury, some people are paying to store stuff on a regular basis. Life evolves and so should our possessions.  We can't take any of them with us when we leave this earth anyway. Do we really think God cannot provide for our needs while we're still here?

The layers of life I've uncovered in the transition of this room alone are a colorful reminder that life changes and we must change with it. As we come to the end of another year, we are different than we were this time last year. My mirror certainly tells me I am! Our lives in our homes are a constant source of change. I am blessed to have a husband that rolls with the punches. We are no where near where I hope to be this time next year in our process of moving toward a more simple, peaceful, uncluttered life but we are much farther down the road than we were this time last year. It's a process to progress. 

FYI - my Honey is totally in love with the 'man space' he created for himself. It's edited down to all his necessities (bass guitar, computer, amp, keyboard, books, TV) and customized by him to fit him. He still needs book shelves and a cozy reading chair, which will come, but he's loving his space. It's much more efficient and he's a happy camper. I think if he had a fridge and microwave, he might not ever come out!
My prayer for us all in the coming year is that we keep the good parts, rid ourselves of excess and focus on living in the here and now.

Loving life at Hacienda Hill...........